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Sexual Satisfaction in Marriages part 1

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Sexual Satisfaction in Marriages part 1

Marriage is the most beautiful union of humans here on earth, from courtship to the actual marriage; it’s filled with so much love, excitement and lots of expectations. Isn’t it wonderful to find that one person who makes you feel beautiful within and outside, that singular person that makes you feel so loved, cherished, desired, important, unique and cared for?

That ecstatic feeling of bliss unspeakably mixed with love and ethereal passion that you share with your special one forever is indescribable; it’s every girls dream as well as every man’s expectations.

Now with all that feeling of love and passion comes this huge expectation from both parties which often times and over time remains not communicated and grossly hidden because there is this carelessly safe assumption that your partner should or ought to know how and what will please you and make you excitingly happy. This is the beginning of problems.

Marriage has no written manual so also the human body to show how it should be sexually handled or play with or how it ought to go, it is a union made in heaven that needs a down to earth maintenance, there is no one size fits all, it’s hard work every day with lots and lots of intimate communication to make it work. Permit me to quote Mrs. Faith Oyedepo in one of her books where she said ‘ assumption in marriage is the beginning of frustration for that marriage’, the day you begin to assume that my husband knows or my wife knows you have unknowingly open up your relationship to tissues of issues because you will be dissatisfied and in turn build a skyscraping resentments.

Today I will be dealing with sexual satisfaction in marriages, this is very important but often times overlooked and also assumed to be fine or it will be fine once we are married. Sex is an act of gratifying and soothing pleasure and passion that elastically binds you to your partner, sex is meant to be superbly enjoyed by both parties involved and not selfishly by just one person.

You don’t have sex to please your partner; rather it should be mutual feelings of indescribable haven sensation or sexual passion. Every man and woman has a distinctly different way that their bodies react to sexual stimulus and you must know that of your partner’s. Below I will be outlining carefully how to find sexual satisfaction with your partner.

1) You must never assume that he or she know how to pleasure you or where to touch and how to touch it or did you write them a book on it? I don’t think so, you must sensually communicate your sexual desires in the most polite and honest way, letting your partner know what works for you and how to react to certain acts of pleasuring sensations will help him/her to pleasure you much better and in turn make the whole worthy experience sufficiently satisfying and amazingly gratifying for you.

2) If communication by words of mouth is much of a tiny problem (lol) for you,(most women would say I feel shy telling him what to do or where and how to touch me or how I earnestly and eagerly want him to touch certain area or spot so he doesn’t look at me like am spoilt or wild) then you should feel free to communicate your desires through enticing body language or more seductive acts during sex, place his or her hand where you want it to touch, move it the way you best enjoy it, make your desires known through your actions during the act. Sex is beautiful and it’s not an act to be ashamed of in marriage, but where the problem lies is that most people especially women refuse to let out their sexual animal and be completely immense in the moment, so you end up unhappy and crassly dissatisfied with the act personally and just live in pretense and constant anger while you remain unfulfilled sexually. If this is happening to you right now then you are to be blamed, you need to express yourself sexpressly (lol…if you know what I mean) and that which you desire so as to get the optimum satisfaction your body hornily craved for.

3) Be ready to reciprocate sexual acts and explorations with your partner, you can’t get the best of them if you are selfish and withdrawn. it’s not always about you alone, (this is particularly for the men) sexual satisfaction or fulfillment is mutual, it is about the BOTH of you and if you keep it that way you will both have a rewardingly satisfied session of intense passion.

4) Space out your sexual activity, often times when it becomes too regular it could be boring and be more of a chore to duty and not fun, so you need to space it out sometimes just so that there is a natural longing, cravings, greed and desire for the act. This though could be difficult and quite relative as some husbands see it as food even some wives especially those with high sexual demand (HSD). However when this spacing is properly observed or maintained for a goodly period of time that’s not too long and you finally get together afterwards it’s more intense and pleasuring.

5) Make yourself open to new things, try out new locations in your house, be adventurous, and let sex be spontaneous sometimes and not planned, leave the bedroom for a while and try the bathroom, or the kitchen. Give random acts of sexual pleasure, a surprise back rub or blow job while your partner is under the shower might be the spark you need to take your sex life to the next climaxing level.

6) Show acts of love and always sort out your differences on time so as to prevent resentments, when you have unresolved issues with your partner you can’t give your best sexually or otherwise, so it’s best to sort it out and have a clean heart towards your relationship.

7) Say no to sexual acts that you don’t like, enjoy or approve of, never engage in a sexual activity that you hate just to please your partner, discuss it and let your reasons for disliking it be heard, the reason is that you can’t enjoy something that disgust you, instead it will make you feel bad and used, which in turn anticlimax to sexual dissatisfaction.

 Marital sex is bliss, beautiful and gratifying, there is no reason to hold back or constrain your desires, anticipations and passion once you are married, if you don’t get expected satisfaction from your husband or wife where then would you get it? Do you intend to remain or live the rest of your life unfulfilled in that crucial aspect? Sex is wonderfully critical, bodily and emotionally edifying and fulfilling, it’s the definition of passion and intimacy with no reservations, you should and must get to the peak of your sexual desires in marriage and it’s up to you to make that happen.

Trusting that this post will be helpful, feel free please to let me know and share your concerns on this issue in the comments section or you are most obliged to send me an email as to questions you have or stuff that holds you back from achieving sexual satisfaction in your marriage I shall be abundantly ready to react to your comments and respond accordingly.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Cross

    February 25, 2019 at 9:50 am

    Very interesting topic. Thanks a bunch for coming out to talk on issues like this..most women are are really suffering in silence..I thank you madam for this lecture.

  2. Dipo

    February 25, 2019 at 10:00 am

    This is a piece every couple must read.
    Thanks Joy

    • joy

      February 26, 2019 at 10:48 am

      thank you so much dipo for reading through,its truly a must read for couples

  3. Tonia Eddyfredrick

    February 25, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Wow nice one,so many marriages are suffering bcos of sexual isues,one thing that has really worked for me is communication and understanding our sexual lifes and dts makes it intresting and even looking forward to it.

    • joy

      March 1, 2019 at 6:26 pm

      @tonia you are so right,communication cannot be under estimated in issues of marriage,its so important if you want your home to work.

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Lifestyle

Dealing with Anxiety and Depression (best ways to handle it)

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Dealing with Anxiety and Depression

We are all faced with issues and circumstances in our day to day lives that are strong and complicated enough to drive us to the side of depression or anxiety.

Neither of the above mentioned mental state is healthy or good for anyone to live in, so it makes A lot of sense to figure out how best to manage these situations that could drive us that far.

Have you ever felt like you were just stuck in time and nothing was working for you?

Is the pressure of meeting deadlines, achieving a personal goal or pleasing people making you more anxious than normal?

You are not alone, let me state one thing clearly that no one has it all together, don’t be deceived by glamorous pictures and show off on social media, we all have issues we deal with ,what makes the difference is how best we handle it.

Below are a few tips to help you manage depression and anxiety, these are tips that I have tried personally and also on friends and it works all the time.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION STRIKES.

1) PRAY-  If you are a regular on this blog by now you know that am a faith based person and a lot of what I do, believe and preach comes from my Christian faith ,I always say that I believe strongly in the power of prayer.

There is a special release and peace that you receive in the place of prayer which nothing in this world can give.

Before you take any steps to handling the situation the most important step to take is to go to God in prayers and be bare to him, you can as plain and naked as you want with him and there is where your healing starts from.

2) ANALYZING THE PROBLEM- 

Most times we don’t take time to carefully understand what the problem is and this is a major stress factor, take you time to discuss the situation with someone your trust can understand you, remember the saying that a problem shared is half solved?

Yes that’s what I mean, break down the problem and take a careful look at it without been tensed or stressed out, this will help you profer a solution plus give you a critical analysis so you know of it’s worth stressing about or not.

3) DETERMINE IF YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT

After you have done step number 2,you can now determine is it’s something that you can change or not, and if it’s something you can change, then you can start making plans towards it while reminding yourself that you are in control.

This will help you be less anxious as well as less depressed cos you now know what to do and you are doing it

4) IF IT CANT BE FIXED LET IT GO! 

  Often times we allow situations that are completely beyond us to determine our happiness, that broken relationship, the issue of infertility, doubt about the future and so many other situations that we have no power over shouldn’t make us feel bad or less happy.

Unless you deeply believe that you have the power to change it, don’t sweat it, let it go and if you applied step number 1 you will understand that once you have laid it bare before God and you understand that there is nothing you can do to change it, then it’s time to let go and find peace knowing that He who knows all things and can do all things is working it out for you.

5) DO SOMETHING FUN

   Get out of the house , visit a cool hang out spot ,get yourself a gift ,go to the spa and get a very good massage , reconnect with old friends , basically just have fun and enjoy yourself, make sure it’s something you enjoy .

Life is too short and full of ups and downs to not let your hair down and truly enjoy yourself.

6) SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP

 If you have tried all these tips and none seems to work out for you, the best thing to do is seek professional help, this could be in form or medical help, a psychologist or even a psychiatrist to help you getting out of this hole and living a better life that you deserve.

P.S – Nothing in life is worth being depressed or anxious over, The times you spend doing that is just wasted and it will never help you , there is always a better and brighter life beyond the one you imagine.

So guys there you have it, if this post has been helpful to you don’t forget to leave me your comments, feel free to send me emails if you desire further counseling on these issues.

See you guys in my next post.

Xoxo.

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Lifestyle

3 Things to never buy Used

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3 Things to never buy Used

Sometimes buying used stuff is the easiest way to save some money especially when cash is low and you feel like it’s a great bargain.

There are so many things that you can get for sale these days that are already used; some are in very good conditions while others are in a terrible state!

There is nothing wrong with buying used stuff, but I believe that there should be guidelines as to what to buy and what not to buy and even how to buy these things.

So today am going to be sharing with you three things I advice that you don’t buy used no matter how incredibly attractive the price is.

1) Used underwear- yes there is no reason why you should be buying this like seriously, apart from the fact that it could be harmful to your health it’s also completely ridiculous to wear the underwear of someone you don’t even know.

Whenever I see a place where this is been sold I just laugh out loud becase I know it doesn’t cost that much to get brand new ones so why buy used pants, bras or boxers.

Please it’s not safe for your health, as these under wears could carry a lot of bacteria and viruses that you have no idea of, this is a pure case of penny wise pound foolish.

2) Used bathroom fittings like bath tubs, toilet seats, handwashing bowls and stuff. Why would you go through the trouble of building a house only to put used fittings in the bathroom which could kill you?

These things are dangerous because they could just break while you are sitting on them or relaxing in the tub for a soak because they might have outlived their lifespan as at the time you purchased them, so it doesn’t make much sense and I would advise that you stick to buying new ones when it come to this.

3) Human hair extensions, oh this is the most gross for me! Gosh sister! Why would you want to buy used human hair or hair extension for God’s sake?

It is completely unhealthy, you have no idea where it’s coming from or who it’s coming from, we have heard stories of people removing hair and hair extensions from dead people at the morgue and selling it out, like just the thought of it is so scary

Please there is no reason to buy used hair or hair extension; you could be buying cancer, flesh eating viruses and a lot more scary healthy hazards just because you want to save a few bucks.

Take my advice buy brand new ones and if you can’t afford it make braids, seriously your health it much more important than a fake appearance so take that into consideration.

These for me are at the top of the list of things that you should never buy used, thank you so much for reading and don’t forget to leave me your comments in the comments section.

See you in my next post .xoxo

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Lifestyle

How to manage stress as a full-time Housewife

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How to manage stress as a full-time Housewife

Stress is a major cause of depression, heart attack, high blood pressure, stroke and it has even in recent times been linked to certain types of cancer.

As humans we encounter stress in our day to day lives but how it affects us largely depends on how well we manage it.

As housewives, the daily routine of taking care of the family, kids, home and even yourself is more than enough to put your stress level on high, which is very dangerous to your health. It’s important that we don’t allow stress to get to a point where is takes over our lives and causes us to have health issues, as that would in turn affect our families.

The points am going to be sharing now are things that I have tried out as a housewife myself and they have worked for me and also friends of mine, it’s not easy but we can do this!

1) The first thing that you need to do is to outline everything that causes you stress, until you know what triggers you, there won’t be a solution and you will be nowhere close to dealing with it.

So make a list of everything that stresses you out in a day, carefully evaluate your day to day activities and write out all the things from the kids who won’t listen, to that blender that won’t work when you need it to and so on.

2) After you have made a list of all that causes you stress in a day, you can now move to discussing these with your partner.

 Sometimes we worry too much about stuff that shouldn’t stress us at all and discussing it is the best way to understanding the situation, because the other person would be able to see the situation clearly because they are not stresses out and this will in turn help you.

3) Ask for help when you need it, as women we are naturally multi Tasker’s, we want to do a million things at the same time with no help, please sisters this will only complicate things for you. It’s not weakness if you ask for help with the laundry, dinner or even the kids; it doesn’t mean you have failed.

You are human and putting too much workload on yourself all at once is the beginning of high blood pressure, so my sisters relax and accept help.

Being a housewife doesn’t mean that you should drown yourself with house chores and be the gate man, lesson teacher, cook e.t.c all at the same time. Delegate certain chores to others so that you can have time to put your best into the things that you can handle.

4) Plan out your day and activities, if you can have a plan as to what you want to do throughout a week, it will go a long way in reducing your stress level.

Plan your cooking into different days, you must not cook all that food in one day, make sure that all you have planned out for a day is all that you can handle conveniently and stick to it, whatever you couldn’t finish should be done the next day so you have time to rest. There is a saying that when you don’t plan you are planning to fail.

Planning is so important, it will help you take things one at a time and make things less complicated for you.

5) Me time is too important for everyone and most especially housewives, you see we put so much of ourselves in to our homes that we actually forget to take care of us.

It is important that you have some me time to yourself once in a while; this will help you relax, rejuvenate and over all be in a better state of mind and health.

Me time is called self care and not selfish, so when you decide to go to the salon and have your nails done or a soothing time at the spa for a facial or massage don’t feel bad because the truth is that you can only give what you have, if you feel great inside you will manifest it in everything you do, but if the reverse is the case, your kids and yourself will always be at the receiving end as you would be stressed out at all times and not function properly.

Whenever things get too demanding for you and your feel like you are at a breaking point, just take a stroll or listen to some good old music, say to yourself that you are awesome, beautiful and you are giving your all which is more than enough.

If you don’t take care of yourself no one will, so please let’s manage stress before it ruins our lives.

Hope this has been helpful to you? Don’t forget to leave me your comments. See you in my next post.

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