There are so many truths that you only discover yourself , life after having a baby isn’t all cute pictures and kisses on your baby’s cheeks ( even though that happens A lot) . There are so many changes that take place in your body right after you give birth and one of those changes includes your sex life.
So, even though your doctor might give you the green light after 4-6weeks of delivery, your body might not be ready to get busy yet.
Did you just have a baby and discovered that you have lost your entire libido? Or is the Revere’s the case for you? Relax you are completely normal, your body just created a miracle and it needs time to heal and get back to normal
We are healing differently and as such each case is different from the other.
As much as you are excited to get back the sexual fire in your relationship, there are a few truths I will like to let you in on.
1) Due to the hormonal changes that are going on in your body, you might discover that you have no urge or desire to have sex, trust me between handling a baby, breastfeeding, lack of sleep and been completely worn out, the last thing you might be bothered about is sex, and this is completely normal, so don’t beat yourself up, your body is still recovering from bringing life and as such certain things will take time to get back to normal.
But while this is going on make sure you communicate with your partner and let him know exactly how you feel, explain that it has nothing to do with how you feel about them and that it’s completely normal.
2) You might find it difficult to get wet (so communication is important to avoid your partner getting the wrong ideas) even when you are ready and this is even more for exclusively breastfeeding mum’s, your body is working hard to produce all milk for your baby and as such the hormones responsible for your sexual life have gone on break whew!
Get water based lubricant so as to avoid bruising yourselves or your partner.
3) Sex will feel different and also have to be planned; oh I bet you didn’t think of that. With the baby taking over your life, you might find yourself unable to concentrate during sex cos your mind is with your baby, and this would cause you to loose interest in it, especially if you are having pains during the act, you will have to plan sex into your daily schedule so you don’t forget (imagining forgetting for months)
4) You can get pregnant as early as 6-8 weeks after delivery , so don’t say oh my periods are not back yet , please my sister play safe.
5) You could either have a very low or very high libido, some women claim that breastfeeding made them regain sexual urges and others claim that it made them loose it completely, so whichever category you fall in, just know that you are not alone and gradually things will return to normal.
6) You might become so body conscious that you won’t want your partner to see you, your tummy , breast , thighs might not look like they did before and as such you find yourself constantly unhappy with your body which will in turn disturb your sexual bonding with your partner.
During these times it’s very important that you try to find other sexual activities that you and your partner could engage in and enjoy, if sex is not possible for you, also note that depending on the kind of birth you had, your healing process will differ from others, listen to your body and communicate constantly with your partner, this is because you don’t want to loose your marriage or relationship to nurture your child, you can do both simultaneously.
Please let me know what changed for you sexually after having a baby and what you did you recover in the comments section. See you all in my next post Xoxo.