Stress is a major cause of depression, heart attack, high blood pressure, stroke and it has even in recent times been linked to certain types of cancer.
As humans we encounter stress in our day to day lives but how it affects us largely depends on how well we manage it.
As housewives, the daily routine of taking care of the family, kids, home and even yourself is more than enough to put your stress level on high, which is very dangerous to your health. It’s important that we don’t allow stress to get to a point where is takes over our lives and causes us to have health issues, as that would in turn affect our families.
The points am going to be sharing now are things that I have tried out as a housewife myself and they have worked for me and also friends of mine, it’s not easy but we can do this!
1) The first thing that you need to do is to outline everything that causes you stress, until you know what triggers you, there won’t be a solution and you will be nowhere close to dealing with it.
So make a list of everything that stresses you out in a day, carefully evaluate your day to day activities and write out all the things from the kids who won’t listen, to that blender that won’t work when you need it to and so on.
2) After you have made a list of all that causes you stress in a day, you can now move to discussing these with your partner.
Sometimes we worry too much about stuff that shouldn’t stress us at all and discussing it is the best way to understanding the situation, because the other person would be able to see the situation clearly because they are not stresses out and this will in turn help you.
3) Ask for help when you need it, as women we are naturally multi Tasker’s, we want to do a million things at the same time with no help, please sisters this will only complicate things for you. It’s not weakness if you ask for help with the laundry, dinner or even the kids; it doesn’t mean you have failed.
You are human and putting too much workload on yourself all at once is the beginning of high blood pressure, so my sisters relax and accept help.
Being a housewife doesn’t mean that you should drown yourself with house chores and be the gate man, lesson teacher, cook e.t.c all at the same time. Delegate certain chores to others so that you can have time to put your best into the things that you can handle.
4) Plan out your day and activities, if you can have a plan as to what you want to do throughout a week, it will go a long way in reducing your stress level.
Plan your cooking into different days, you must not cook all that food in one day, make sure that all you have planned out for a day is all that you can handle conveniently and stick to it, whatever you couldn’t finish should be done the next day so you have time to rest. There is a saying that when you don’t plan you are planning to fail.
Planning is so important, it will help you take things one at a time and make things less complicated for you.
5) Me time is too important for everyone and most especially housewives, you see we put so much of ourselves in to our homes that we actually forget to take care of us.
It is important that you have some me time to yourself once in a while; this will help you relax, rejuvenate and over all be in a better state of mind and health.
Me time is called self care and not selfish, so when you decide to go to the salon and have your nails done or a soothing time at the spa for a facial or massage don’t feel bad because the truth is that you can only give what you have, if you feel great inside you will manifest it in everything you do, but if the reverse is the case, your kids and yourself will always be at the receiving end as you would be stressed out at all times and not function properly.
Whenever things get too demanding for you and your feel like you are at a breaking point, just take a stroll or listen to some good old music, say to yourself that you are awesome, beautiful and you are giving your all which is more than enough.
If you don’t take care of yourself no one will, so please let’s manage stress before it ruins our lives.
Hope this has been helpful to you? Don’t forget to leave me your comments. See you in my next post.
Dealing with Anxiety and Depression (best ways to handle it)
We are all faced with issues and circumstances in our day to day lives that are strong and complicated enough to drive us to the side of depression or anxiety.
Neither of the above mentioned mental state is healthy or good for anyone to live in, so it makes A lot of sense to figure out how best to manage these situations that could drive us that far.
Have you ever felt like you were just stuck in time and nothing was working for you?
Is the pressure of meeting deadlines, achieving a personal goal or pleasing people making you more anxious than normal?
You are not alone, let me state one thing clearly that no one has it all together, don’t be deceived by glamorous pictures and show off on social media, we all have issues we deal with ,what makes the difference is how best we handle it.
Below are a few tips to help you manage depression and anxiety, these are tips that I have tried personally and also on friends and it works all the time.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION STRIKES.
1) PRAY- If you are a regular on this blog by now you know that am a faith based person and a lot of what I do, believe and preach comes from my Christian faith ,I always say that I believe strongly in the power of prayer.
There is a special release and peace that you receive in the place of prayer which nothing in this world can give.
Before you take any steps to handling the situation the most important step to take is to go to God in prayers and be bare to him, you can as plain and naked as you want with him and there is where your healing starts from.
2) ANALYZING THE PROBLEM-
Most times we don’t take time to carefully understand what the problem is and this is a major stress factor, take you time to discuss the situation with someone your trust can understand you, remember the saying that a problem shared is half solved?
Yes that’s what I mean, break down the problem and take a careful look at it without been tensed or stressed out, this will help you profer a solution plus give you a critical analysis so you know of it’s worth stressing about or not.
3) DETERMINE IF YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT
After you have done step number 2,you can now determine is it’s something that you can change or not, and if it’s something you can change, then you can start making plans towards it while reminding yourself that you are in control.
This will help you be less anxious as well as less depressed cos you now know what to do and you are doing it
4) IF IT CANT BE FIXED LET IT GO!
Often times we allow situations that are completely beyond us to determine our happiness, that broken relationship, the issue of infertility, doubt about the future and so many other situations that we have no power over shouldn’t make us feel bad or less happy.
Unless you deeply believe that you have the power to change it, don’t sweat it, let it go and if you applied step number 1 you will understand that once you have laid it bare before God and you understand that there is nothing you can do to change it, then it’s time to let go and find peace knowing that He who knows all things and can do all things is working it out for you.
5) DO SOMETHING FUN
Get out of the house , visit a cool hang out spot ,get yourself a gift ,go to the spa and get a very good massage , reconnect with old friends , basically just have fun and enjoy yourself, make sure it’s something you enjoy .
Life is too short and full of ups and downs to not let your hair down and truly enjoy yourself.
6) SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
If you have tried all these tips and none seems to work out for you, the best thing to do is seek professional help, this could be in form or medical help, a psychologist or even a psychiatrist to help you getting out of this hole and living a better life that you deserve.
P.S – Nothing in life is worth being depressed or anxious over, The times you spend doing that is just wasted and it will never help you , there is always a better and brighter life beyond the one you imagine.
So guys there you have it, if this post has been helpful to you don’t forget to leave me your comments, feel free to send me emails if you desire further counseling on these issues.
See you guys in my next post.
3 Things to never buy Used
Sometimes buying used stuff is the easiest way to save some money especially when cash is low and you feel like it’s a great bargain.
There are so many things that you can get for sale these days that are already used; some are in very good conditions while others are in a terrible state!
There is nothing wrong with buying used stuff, but I believe that there should be guidelines as to what to buy and what not to buy and even how to buy these things.
So today am going to be sharing with you three things I advice that you don’t buy used no matter how incredibly attractive the price is.
1) Used underwear- yes there is no reason why you should be buying this like seriously, apart from the fact that it could be harmful to your health it’s also completely ridiculous to wear the underwear of someone you don’t even know.
Whenever I see a place where this is been sold I just laugh out loud becase I know it doesn’t cost that much to get brand new ones so why buy used pants, bras or boxers.
Please it’s not safe for your health, as these under wears could carry a lot of bacteria and viruses that you have no idea of, this is a pure case of penny wise pound foolish.
2) Used bathroom fittings like bath tubs, toilet seats, handwashing bowls and stuff. Why would you go through the trouble of building a house only to put used fittings in the bathroom which could kill you?
These things are dangerous because they could just break while you are sitting on them or relaxing in the tub for a soak because they might have outlived their lifespan as at the time you purchased them, so it doesn’t make much sense and I would advise that you stick to buying new ones when it come to this.
3) Human hair extensions, oh this is the most gross for me! Gosh sister! Why would you want to buy used human hair or hair extension for God’s sake?
It is completely unhealthy, you have no idea where it’s coming from or who it’s coming from, we have heard stories of people removing hair and hair extensions from dead people at the morgue and selling it out, like just the thought of it is so scary
Please there is no reason to buy used hair or hair extension; you could be buying cancer, flesh eating viruses and a lot more scary healthy hazards just because you want to save a few bucks.
Take my advice buy brand new ones and if you can’t afford it make braids, seriously your health it much more important than a fake appearance so take that into consideration.
These for me are at the top of the list of things that you should never buy used, thank you so much for reading and don’t forget to leave me your comments in the comments section.
See you in my next post .xoxo
Domestic violence – how to spot a potential abuser Part1
When it comes to relationships, nothing is more heart breaking like being abused by the person you love and trust. The mere fact that this person capitalized on your trust and commitment to him/her to domestically and emotionally abuse you is criminal, invidious and totally unacceptable.
Be that as it may, there’s no gainsaying the vivid reality that falling in love is a beautiful thing and a happily flourishing home is everyone’s dream, so this brings me to the topic I want to talk about today.
Domestic violence as defined by Wikipedia is violence or abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting such as marriage or cohabitation. Before delving deeper into this, I would want to first deal with SIGNS OF A POTENTIAL ABUSER, often times there are signs and characteristics that show that a person ( your Lover) could be an abuser but we often times overlook it, or even deliberately ignore the glaring signs ( what I call intentional mistake)
Did you know that apart from just the physical abuse to the body which is apparently very rampant, there is also EMOTIONAL ABUSE? This is unequivocally as damaging as the physical abuse if not even more serious than the physical but am going to deal with that on a separate post.
No one should be a victim slavishly or otherwise of a domestic abuse of any kind, as a survivor am going to be sharing with you clear signs to look out for as red flag so you can take a step before it’s too late.
SIGNS OF A POTENTIAL ABUSER
1) They start of as very passionate, slavishly loving, critically emotional and caring in the beginning of your relationship to the point that they call you like every 20minutes, under the deep blue pretence that they love you so much and just want to hear your voice or just checking up on you to know how you are doing, that is a cryptic lie, anyone that you just started dating who calls you up with a monitoring attitude like every hour will later on manifestly become a possessor, you sure will be optically blind to all these indices in the beginning cos you are overwhelmed with adrenaline rush of transient emotions with the believe that for this guy or person to call you ceaselessly this much simply means he really love you and you are so blown away, please blow yourself back to the awkward reality. The red flag here is that such a person wants to be in absolute totalitarian control of your life so much that they want to know what you are doing every hour; it’s dangerous to continue with such a person.
2) They have this innately gross insecurity complex issue and as such always needing you to prove your love and reassure same for them, they always make you feel like you are not doing enough to show your love and commitment, one thing that you must know is that these abusers are expertly good at playing mind games to making you look believably bad before your own conscience and in the eyes of everyone.
3) They always play the victimology role that is they act like the victims all the time whenever there is a slight tiff or quarrel, especially in the early days of the relationship, when someone constantly makes you take all the blame and act like they are not getting enough love or attention from you when you know you are doing everything humanly right and possible please step aloof and watch what you are into. Note: An unexamined relationship is good riddance to bad rubbish to say the least.
4) They get easily angry and defensively cast the blame on you. They display endlessly senseless anger over irrelevant and needless things or issues and in turn spittle the aspersion on you alarming that it’s because they love you so much and can’t do without you bla bla bla….blin blin blin….this is the big, bold, black lie ever. Please do not hesitate to run because by so doing he is enslaving your emotions and reaping off your self esteem and woman’s dignity inside of you.
5) They hurt themselves physically just to show you how much they insanely love you or how much you are hurting them by your unknown and innocent misconduct. Now ask yourself this question, if someone can cause grievous bodily harm to himself and blame it on you what would they do to you if they have the chance? If a Crocodile can eat its own egg what will it not do to the flesh of a frog (Late Prof.Ola Rotimi- The gods are not to blame)?
6) They are constantly jealous, insecure and angry when you are having the slightest of fun with your friends or family. They effortlessly convince you that it’s because you are not making them a priority and feels you putting them on a friend zone. Their level of excessive jealousy is so weird and out of this world which causes them to create their own non-existing world of insecurity around you mentally tied to them.
7) They have issues with all your friends and basically want you selfishly all to themselves within a short period of time. This is very critical and can easily be spot on base on the fact that they suspects you with anything called human and builds a figment of his imagination around their inordinately senseless suspicion and sniff around you with your friend and even your family.
8) They always set rules and regulations, my dear any relationship that starts off with a constitution is from hell, it should be about love and natural flow of emotions and not you must do this or do that, you must wear this and mustn’t wear that, a remote control structured way of your love life which puts you in default settings wherein you do not have the character manual to configure yourself out of it.
9) They want to change everything about you to only reflect their person, nothing about who you are and what makes you what you are makes sense enough for them, and they make you feel that it’s the next sane step to prove that you are really into them, they sweet talk you with a sugar coated tongue to change even your lifestyle, fashion sense if any, your friends, your belief system etc so you think only through the eyes of their own needle.
10) A potential abuser would stick to you too soon, maybe in the early weeks of dating even when you are still contemplating the whole thing, they would usually push things fast to a point where you become helplessly lost in their unknown world and just believe that it’s love, you are not obliged the room to think things through.
One thing you must take cognizance of is that they are excellent mind game players and have over time mastered the skillful art of messing with your mind so much that you only see life blurringly through their narrow life gate and borrowed lens. Nothing is ever their fault in all they do, whatever they do is on the because-i-love-you premise that is the usual line and excuse. This is spiteful; it’s reprehensible and must be resisted by all means.
In my next post i will deal more on the types of domestic abuse, how to get out of an abusive relationship and move on to a better you. Don’t forget to leave me your comments. Many thanks for painstakingly reading this write-up. I am Joy Etor.
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