Marriage is a beautiful institution designed and created by God. It is every ones dream to grow up and meet that ‘ perfect’ match, get married and build a family. As beautiful as this may seem, the rate of divorce in recent years has caused many to question if there is still need to get married, as people divorce these days faster than they got married.
Most people confuse the wedding or concentrate more on the wedding than the marriage itself, which is why after all the euphoria of the wedding day is gone, the new couple struggle with how to make it work.
As with any successful venture in life, there are basic fundamentals that make up the foundation of a successful marriage, without which the marriage will not stand.
Very few people pay attention to these fundamentals, but from experience I know that a house with a faulty or no foundation at all will fall.
I do not pride myself as an expert or a counselor but my personal experience has taught me to build, practice and depend on the following as basics to making it work. Below are the tips you need to make a marriage successful.
1) Communication- This is a very important step to take, nurture and rely on if you want your marriage to work, you must learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. Growing up my grandma taught me that there is a time and place to talk to a man, she said, wait till he has eaten and is relaxed then is the best time to bring up a conversation and get the best of him.
I can tell you that she wasn’t wrong, our mothers of those days knew the importance of communicating and they also knew that it made no sense shouting, rather pick a perfect time to discuss with your partner, when he or she is most relaxed and can listen to all you have to say and also digest all you have said, without this you will just talk and talk without getting any benefit.
Never assume you know or it’s their character, make sure you talk it through in the most polite of ways, without being selfish or angry. Effective communication is key to every success full home.
2) Friendship- this is a major tool in making it work guys! Have you seen couples that have been married for at least 20years? What is the first thing you notice? One can complete the others statement before he or she finishes, you can see the bond through their eyes, they are best friends not just Mr. & Mrs., it’s so important to cultivate a true friendship with your partner, this helps you to always be free with them and rely on them, you create a bond that is just beyond the intimacy shared as a couple and this is so important cos trust me at some point in the marriage it’s not about the sex but about the Bond.
3) Prayer- A family that prays together stays together, and as cliché as that may sound it’s so true.
As much as your hubby wants you to be his wife, be sexy and all that stuff, men also appreciate a woman who can stand her ground through prayers, cultivate the habit of praying together not just at night but randomly.
Life will always bring us challenges and the greatest way to overcoming them is by praying together.
I believe strongly in the power of prayers and I advice it to anyone thinking of getting Married or already married, pray, pray and pray some more, it gives you strength from within .
4) Sex- Yes you read that right, sex is honorable in marriage and it’s a major force that binds a couple, make sure that your sex life is top notch, dont deny your partner sex,dont use sex as a pay back during quarrels.
Regular sexual relations is a must for any successful marriage, find out what pleasures them and go all out to do it( please do only what won’t risk your health) make it fun, be flirty with your partner there is no shame in it please, be naughty and always be the one that arouses their sexual desires.
5) Truth- truth is what builds trust, and no marriage can survive without trust, so make sure that at all times you are transparent to your partner, it’s always best if your partner can defend you when situations arise. As much as possible let there be no secrets between you two, regardless of the situation always tell the truth.
Most times it’s the issue of trust that causes marriages to crash cos it doesn’t make sense to be with someone who you can’t confide in and knowing that this person has got your back.
6) Attention- everyone desires attention, you can’t claim to love someone or something and not pay close attention to it. Pay attention to your partner’s mood, looks, emotions, likes and dislikes, do your best to not let anything distract you from them.
Whatever has your attention will also have your time, and when it has your time you will always enjoy it and find ways to make it last. What you refuse to attend to today will become an issue tomorrow.
7) Spend quality time together, you don’t expect your marriage to work from a distance, the longer the distance you allow in your relationship the more of strangers your become to each other.
At the end of the day, it’s not the money you where making that matters but the quality time you got to spend with your family, that is what you will build memories on.
It’s very easy to think money is the most important but it’s not when it comes to matters of the heart, as much as it can make things easier it doesn’t replace your presence.
Chase money but with wisdom, spend time with your wife or husband, take time out to play, relax together, commune, communicate and enjoy each other.
These for me are the basics to making a marriage successful, I will be glad to read your comments on this post as well as tips that you have for building successful homes in the comments section or through my email. Thanks for reading and see you in my next post.
