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How to build a successful marriage



How to build a successful marriage

Marriage is a beautiful institution designed and created by God. It is every ones dream to grow up and meet that ‘ perfect’ match, get married and build a family. As beautiful as this may seem, the rate of divorce in recent years has caused many to question if there is still need to get married, as people divorce these days faster than they got married.

Most people confuse the wedding or concentrate more on the wedding than the marriage itself, which is why after all the euphoria of the wedding day is gone, the new couple struggle with how to make it work.

As with any successful venture in life, there are basic fundamentals that make up the foundation of a successful marriage, without which the marriage will not stand.

Very few people pay attention to these fundamentals, but from experience I know that a house with a faulty or no foundation at all will fall.

I do not pride myself as an expert or a counselor but my personal experience has taught me to build, practice and depend on the following as basics to making it work. Below are the tips you need to make a marriage successful.

1) Communication- This is a very important step to take, nurture and rely on if you want your marriage to work, you must learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. Growing up my grandma taught me that there is a time and place to talk to a man, she said, wait till he has eaten and is relaxed then is the best time to bring up a conversation and get the best of him.

I can tell you that she wasn’t wrong, our mothers of those days knew the importance of communicating and they also knew that it made no sense shouting, rather pick a perfect time to discuss with your partner, when he or she is most relaxed and can listen to all you have to say and also digest all you have said, without this you will just talk and talk without getting any benefit.

Never assume you know or it’s their character, make sure you talk it through in the most polite of ways, without being selfish or angry. Effective communication is key to every success full home.

2) Friendship- this is a major tool in making it work guys! Have you seen couples that have been married for at least 20years? What is the first thing you notice? One can complete the others statement before he or she finishes, you can see the bond through their eyes, they are best friends not just Mr. & Mrs., it’s so important to cultivate a true friendship with your partner, this helps you to always be free with them and rely on them, you create a bond that is just beyond the intimacy shared as a couple and this is so important cos trust me at some point in the marriage it’s not about the sex but about the Bond.

3) Prayer- A family that prays together stays together, and as cliché as that may sound it’s so true.

As much as your hubby wants you to be his wife, be sexy and all that stuff, men also appreciate a woman who can stand her ground through prayers, cultivate the habit of praying together not just at night but randomly.

Life will always bring us challenges and the greatest way to overcoming them is by praying together.

I believe strongly in the power of prayers and I advice it to anyone thinking of getting Married or already married, pray, pray and pray some more, it gives you strength from within .

4) Sex- Yes you read that right, sex is honorable in marriage and it’s a major force that binds a couple, make sure that your sex life is top notch, dont deny your partner sex,dont use sex as a pay back during quarrels.

Regular sexual relations is a must for any successful marriage, find out what pleasures them and go all out to do it( please do only what won’t risk your health) make it fun, be flirty with your partner there is no shame in it please, be naughty and always be the one that arouses their sexual desires.

5) Truth- truth is what builds trust, and no marriage can survive without trust, so make sure that at all times you are transparent to your partner, it’s always best if your partner can defend you when situations arise. As much as possible let there be no secrets between you two, regardless of the situation always tell the truth.

Most times it’s the issue of trust that causes marriages to crash cos it doesn’t make sense to be with someone who you can’t confide in and knowing that this person has got your back.

6) Attention- everyone desires attention, you can’t claim to love someone or something and not pay close attention to it. Pay attention to your partner’s mood, looks, emotions, likes and dislikes, do your best to not let anything distract you from them.

Whatever has your attention will also have your time, and when it has your time you will always enjoy it and find ways to make it last. What you refuse to attend to today will become an issue tomorrow.

7) Spend quality time together, you don’t expect your marriage to work from a distance, the longer the distance you allow in your relationship the more of strangers your become to each other.

At the end of the day, it’s not the money you where making that matters but the quality time you got to spend with your family, that is what you will build memories on.

It’s very easy to think money is the most important but it’s not when it comes to matters of the heart, as much as it can make things easier it doesn’t replace your presence.

Chase money but with wisdom, spend time with your wife or husband, take time out to play, relax together, commune, communicate and enjoy each other.

These for me are the basics to making a marriage successful, I will be glad to read your comments on this post as well as tips that you have for building successful homes in the comments section or through my email. Thanks for reading and see you in my next post.

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How to buy property legally once married



How to buy property legally once married.

Hello guys, how have you been?? Well I hope you all are good, it’s been really hectic for me in the last couple of weeks, dealing with a four year old and a toddler of 18 months who is so lively and ready to play till midnight has got me literally living in my PJs, so please excuse me for not posting blogs regularly but am back now.

So there has been this debate on Twitter asking if it’s right to buy property in your husband’s name once you are married, like should you buy it using his name or last name, or just buy it using your name, and it has stirred up a lot of controversy, so I just thought to bring the legal implication to light.

Most people don’t even know the legal way to buy property let alone buy as a couple or as a married woman.

Even though you are married it makes a lot of sense that you know your legal rights when it comes to doing certain things, so guys I have a video up on the YouTube channel discussing this topic, and since my husband is a lawyer I was able to get useful tips from him.

Are you subscribed to my channel? Do you even know the channel? Anyways let me bring it to you here, just click on the YouTube link up there and it will take you straight to my channel or you can go to YouTube and search for  joy Etor ,while at it please subscribe so you always get updates of when I post videos.

Thank you guys so much, please let’s build this brand together! Xoxo see you guys in my next post.

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Why you must build your marriage on Prayers



Why you must build your marriage on Prayers

Every successful marriage is built on a solid foundation, and that solid foundation for me is prayers. Marriage was the very first institution created by God himself, so it only makes sense to go back to the creator so as to make it work.

Call me cliché or old fashioned, but this is the truth. I believe that no one gets married with the intention of breaking up at some point , we all get married to stay married, but as you know every good or great thing comes with its own challenges.

Proverbs 14vs 1says, for a wise woman builds her home but the foolish destroys hers. It takes a great deal of patience and understanding to build a home and none of these is possible without prayers.

Am a strong believer in the power of prayers, as you know I am a Christian and my religion teaches me to have a deep relationship with God through the place of prayer.


First off I believe that praying to God about your life and the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with should be the beginning of a great marriage, this is so that you get that person that is right for you and with whom you share the same believes and understanding in God.

You need prayers in marriage to help you get the wisdom and guidance that you need to build your home.

There is a certain peace and calmness that you get after you pray, and this is exactly what you need in your home when things aren’t going well, when hubby or wifey turns to a completely different person from the one you married, when challenges of childbirth comes your way or when life gives you curves instead of straight lines.

You need prayers to strengthen the bond in your home, you need prayers to stay together, as they say, a family that prays together stays together!

Am a proof of what prayers can do. You know those times when it all seems lost, and you wonder how did I end up here ? When you ask yourself why me? When it seems like you aren’t doing enough when you are really giving it all you’ve got? That’s why you need prayers to bring your home divine intervention, peace, joy that knows no bounds and of cos wholeness.


1) Pray without season or reason, don’t wait for a problem to come before you remember God, often times we only tend to remember the power of prayers when there is a challenge in front of us.

2) Pray as a couple, try to make this a tradition in your home, as this will help build your kids up in prayers too. I know it could be hard with work and all that we have to do, but create the time, maybe on weekends to come together and pray, it will amaze you at the bond that this creates

3) Even when you partner isn’t up to it, you pray for the family, the more you do this, and you encourage your partner to join you.

4) Learn to just hold hands at random and say a few words of prayer, it could just be Thanksgiving nothing too serious, hold their hands and say you are thankful to God for bring you their way, these kind of pattern creates a deep love in the heart of your partner.

5) Pray even when it seems like your prayers are not been answered, so that when you finally get the answers you will be more empowered to keep the prayer lantern on.

Remember that nothing good comes easy, so it might not be easy to pray all the time but trust me when I say that once you are able to create that bond through prayers, there is hardly any challenge you would face that will crumble you, as you will always know that God has a great plan for you and your home

If God created marriage for wholeness, love and happiness, then it therefore means that any marriage that isn’t bearing the original fruits as designed by God the creator needs to seek his face to make it work.

Be woman of prayer, pray for everything and anything as it concerns your home, and even when it will seem like the prayers aren’t working, don’t stop praying, instead ask for the grace to pray according to his will.

We often tend to pray about what we want and not what is according to His will, which is why we think that our prayers aren’t answered, whereas God has a better, greater and larger plan for you than you can imagine.

Ok this has been a lengthy post, I will stop here, feel free to drop me your questions, comments or suggestions in the comments section. Xoxo

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5 things women hate during sex…



5 things women hate during sex…

Yes you read that right, am going to be dishing out top 5 things that women hate men doing during sex, if you are with me my ladies let me hear a loud Amen sister!.

Sex is meant to completely pleasure and satisfy the parties involved and not just one person, often times the reason for sexual dissatisfaction is habits or sexual activities that are not in line with your partner’s idea of pleasure but which haven’t been voiced out.

So today am helping all the brothers! Yea, am going to tell you what we don’t like so you can stop doing it and concentrate only on pleasurable things.

A woman’s body is like a piano when you press the right keys, it gives you sweet melodious sounds, but when you press the wrong ones hmm, it goes off key and horrible.

1) The very first thing women hate is the lack of proper stimulation, by this I mean you don’t take your time to touch all the right places like soft kisses to the ears while your fingers are busy with the clitoris, soft pleasurable licking and sucking of the boobs as well as other sensitive areas, most men don’t even know how to touch a woman, they are just in a hurry to go in, please go in and do what when you haven’t started the right way.

Foreplay is too important, because while it takes just a sight for a man to get turned on with an erect penis, it takes longer and a lot of work for a woman’s body to get into the same mood, so please guys learn to take your time with a woman’s body, even you car needs to be warmed up for a few minutes to function effectively.

2) Quick penetration, if you read the first point you will understand why this is a no no, never be so much in a hurry to penetrate a woman when she isn’t wet and begging for it (that’s the best time to penetrate).

A common mistake with men is that they just want to go in so quickly and end up coming out quickly as well, (horrible) that in no way does anything for the woman, it will only infuriate her, so relax and let things flow naturally.

Once she is craving for penetration she will be the one pulling you in and it’s much more fun that way.

3) Another thing women hate is forced blow job, yes brother you don’t force it, you have to understand that when it comes to foreplay and oral sex, its reciprocal, the idea of pushing her head down to your penis once you want to have sex is so disgusting and disrespectful.

If you can ask nicely, or better still go the 69 position, this way you both enjoy each other at the same time, while exploding with immeasurable pleasure.

4) Touching the clit wrong or touching the boobs wrong. Like I said in the previous point, a woman’s body is to be touched with care and knowledge just like the keys on a piano, the clitoris of a woman is known as the power house of pleasure, but you don’t have to be hard or harsh on it, it’s very delicate and one wrong touch could trigger pain and discomfort immediately, please touch it softly, play with its tip nicely with your finger or tongue and if you don’t know how to use your tongue down there don’t even bother starting, if you are doing it right her moaning will tell you.

Don’t ever grab a woman’s boobs aggressively; do you want to press life out of it? Grab it with utmost care and romance, carefully play with the nipples with your tongue and suck on it gently, unless she ask you to use your teeth please we don’t need teeth there, save  it for your chicken and beef.

5) Forceful and aggressive sex, why would you go in and be so hard, fast and Forceful at the same time? Are we fighting? It’s not a battle field and women don’t need your strength they need your expertise, because a man who knows how to pleasure a woman doesn’t even need a second round, she is knocked out from the first.

Go in gently let there be a rhythm to what you are doing, enjoy the flow, listen to her moaning, and let your hands be busy while penetration is going on. Also guys please don’t doze off immediately after sex, women love to be cuddled with some sweet naughty things been said after sex and not your snoring.

There you have it guys, sex is an act to be learnt, practiced and perfected, even when you think you are perfect always be open to learning new things so that your sex life isn’t boring. Sex is sweet, its mind blowing, it’s to be enjoyed by both parties involved always have that in mind and this will guide you to a more fulfilling sex life.

Don’t forget to leave me your comments and see you in my next post. XoXo

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