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How to build a successful marriage

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How to build a successful marriage

Marriage is a beautiful institution designed and created by God. It is every ones dream to grow up and meet that ‘ perfect’ match, get married and build a family. As beautiful as this may seem, the rate of divorce in recent years has caused many to question if there is still need to get married, as people divorce these days faster than they got married.

Most people confuse the wedding or concentrate more on the wedding than the marriage itself, which is why after all the euphoria of the wedding day is gone, the new couple struggle with how to make it work.

As with any successful venture in life, there are basic fundamentals that make up the foundation of a successful marriage, without which the marriage will not stand.

Very few people pay attention to these fundamentals, but from experience I know that a house with a faulty or no foundation at all will fall.

I do not pride myself as an expert or a counselor but my personal experience has taught me to build, practice and depend on the following as basics to making it work. Below are the tips you need to make a marriage successful.

1) Communication- This is a very important step to take, nurture and rely on if you want your marriage to work, you must learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. Growing up my grandma taught me that there is a time and place to talk to a man, she said, wait till he has eaten and is relaxed then is the best time to bring up a conversation and get the best of him.

I can tell you that she wasn’t wrong, our mothers of those days knew the importance of communicating and they also knew that it made no sense shouting, rather pick a perfect time to discuss with your partner, when he or she is most relaxed and can listen to all you have to say and also digest all you have said, without this you will just talk and talk without getting any benefit.

Never assume you know or it’s their character, make sure you talk it through in the most polite of ways, without being selfish or angry. Effective communication is key to every success full home.

2) Friendship- this is a major tool in making it work guys! Have you seen couples that have been married for at least 20years? What is the first thing you notice? One can complete the others statement before he or she finishes, you can see the bond through their eyes, they are best friends not just Mr. & Mrs., it’s so important to cultivate a true friendship with your partner, this helps you to always be free with them and rely on them, you create a bond that is just beyond the intimacy shared as a couple and this is so important cos trust me at some point in the marriage it’s not about the sex but about the Bond.

3) Prayer- A family that prays together stays together, and as cliché as that may sound it’s so true.

As much as your hubby wants you to be his wife, be sexy and all that stuff, men also appreciate a woman who can stand her ground through prayers, cultivate the habit of praying together not just at night but randomly.

Life will always bring us challenges and the greatest way to overcoming them is by praying together.

I believe strongly in the power of prayers and I advice it to anyone thinking of getting Married or already married, pray, pray and pray some more, it gives you strength from within .

4) Sex- Yes you read that right, sex is honorable in marriage and it’s a major force that binds a couple, make sure that your sex life is top notch, dont deny your partner sex,dont use sex as a pay back during quarrels.

Regular sexual relations is a must for any successful marriage, find out what pleasures them and go all out to do it( please do only what won’t risk your health) make it fun, be flirty with your partner there is no shame in it please, be naughty and always be the one that arouses their sexual desires.

5) Truth- truth is what builds trust, and no marriage can survive without trust, so make sure that at all times you are transparent to your partner, it’s always best if your partner can defend you when situations arise. As much as possible let there be no secrets between you two, regardless of the situation always tell the truth.

Most times it’s the issue of trust that causes marriages to crash cos it doesn’t make sense to be with someone who you can’t confide in and knowing that this person has got your back.

6) Attention- everyone desires attention, you can’t claim to love someone or something and not pay close attention to it. Pay attention to your partner’s mood, looks, emotions, likes and dislikes, do your best to not let anything distract you from them.

Whatever has your attention will also have your time, and when it has your time you will always enjoy it and find ways to make it last. What you refuse to attend to today will become an issue tomorrow.

7) Spend quality time together, you don’t expect your marriage to work from a distance, the longer the distance you allow in your relationship the more of strangers your become to each other.

At the end of the day, it’s not the money you where making that matters but the quality time you got to spend with your family, that is what you will build memories on.

It’s very easy to think money is the most important but it’s not when it comes to matters of the heart, as much as it can make things easier it doesn’t replace your presence.

Chase money but with wisdom, spend time with your wife or husband, take time out to play, relax together, commune, communicate and enjoy each other.

These for me are the basics to making a marriage successful, I will be glad to read your comments on this post as well as tips that you have for building successful homes in the comments section or through my email. Thanks for reading and see you in my next post.

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Relationship

5 things women hate during sex…

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5 things women hate during sex…

Yes you read that right, am going to be dishing out top 5 things that women hate men doing during sex, if you are with me my ladies let me hear a loud Amen sister!.

Sex is meant to completely pleasure and satisfy the parties involved and not just one person, often times the reason for sexual dissatisfaction is habits or sexual activities that are not in line with your partner’s idea of pleasure but which haven’t been voiced out.

So today am helping all the brothers! Yea, am going to tell you what we don’t like so you can stop doing it and concentrate only on pleasurable things.

A woman’s body is like a piano when you press the right keys, it gives you sweet melodious sounds, but when you press the wrong ones hmm, it goes off key and horrible.

1) The very first thing women hate is the lack of proper stimulation, by this I mean you don’t take your time to touch all the right places like soft kisses to the ears while your fingers are busy with the clitoris, soft pleasurable licking and sucking of the boobs as well as other sensitive areas, most men don’t even know how to touch a woman, they are just in a hurry to go in, please go in and do what when you haven’t started the right way.

Foreplay is too important, because while it takes just a sight for a man to get turned on with an erect penis, it takes longer and a lot of work for a woman’s body to get into the same mood, so please guys learn to take your time with a woman’s body, even you car needs to be warmed up for a few minutes to function effectively.

2) Quick penetration, if you read the first point you will understand why this is a no no, never be so much in a hurry to penetrate a woman when she isn’t wet and begging for it (that’s the best time to penetrate).

A common mistake with men is that they just want to go in so quickly and end up coming out quickly as well, (horrible) that in no way does anything for the woman, it will only infuriate her, so relax and let things flow naturally.

Once she is craving for penetration she will be the one pulling you in and it’s much more fun that way.

3) Another thing women hate is forced blow job, yes brother you don’t force it, you have to understand that when it comes to foreplay and oral sex, its reciprocal, the idea of pushing her head down to your penis once you want to have sex is so disgusting and disrespectful.

If you can ask nicely, or better still go the 69 position, this way you both enjoy each other at the same time, while exploding with immeasurable pleasure.

4) Touching the clit wrong or touching the boobs wrong. Like I said in the previous point, a woman’s body is to be touched with care and knowledge just like the keys on a piano, the clitoris of a woman is known as the power house of pleasure, but you don’t have to be hard or harsh on it, it’s very delicate and one wrong touch could trigger pain and discomfort immediately, please touch it softly, play with its tip nicely with your finger or tongue and if you don’t know how to use your tongue down there don’t even bother starting, if you are doing it right her moaning will tell you.

Don’t ever grab a woman’s boobs aggressively; do you want to press life out of it? Grab it with utmost care and romance, carefully play with the nipples with your tongue and suck on it gently, unless she ask you to use your teeth please we don’t need teeth there, save  it for your chicken and beef.

5) Forceful and aggressive sex, why would you go in and be so hard, fast and Forceful at the same time? Are we fighting? It’s not a battle field and women don’t need your strength they need your expertise, because a man who knows how to pleasure a woman doesn’t even need a second round, she is knocked out from the first.

Go in gently let there be a rhythm to what you are doing, enjoy the flow, listen to her moaning, and let your hands be busy while penetration is going on. Also guys please don’t doze off immediately after sex, women love to be cuddled with some sweet naughty things been said after sex and not your snoring.

There you have it guys, sex is an act to be learnt, practiced and perfected, even when you think you are perfect always be open to learning new things so that your sex life isn’t boring. Sex is sweet, its mind blowing, it’s to be enjoyed by both parties involved always have that in mind and this will guide you to a more fulfilling sex life.

Don’t forget to leave me your comments and see you in my next post. XoXo

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Sexual Satisfaction in Marriages part 1

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Sexual Satisfaction in Marriages part 1

Marriage is the most beautiful union of humans here on earth, from courtship to the actual marriage; it’s filled with so much love, excitement and lots of expectations. Isn’t it wonderful to find that one person who makes you feel beautiful within and outside, that singular person that makes you feel so loved, cherished, desired, important, unique and cared for?

That ecstatic feeling of bliss unspeakably mixed with love and ethereal passion that you share with your special one forever is indescribable; it’s every girls dream as well as every man’s expectations.

Now with all that feeling of love and passion comes this huge expectation from both parties which often times and over time remains not communicated and grossly hidden because there is this carelessly safe assumption that your partner should or ought to know how and what will please you and make you excitingly happy. This is the beginning of problems.

Marriage has no written manual so also the human body to show how it should be sexually handled or play with or how it ought to go, it is a union made in heaven that needs a down to earth maintenance, there is no one size fits all, it’s hard work every day with lots and lots of intimate communication to make it work. Permit me to quote Mrs. Faith Oyedepo in one of her books where she said ‘ assumption in marriage is the beginning of frustration for that marriage’, the day you begin to assume that my husband knows or my wife knows you have unknowingly open up your relationship to tissues of issues because you will be dissatisfied and in turn build a skyscraping resentments.

Today I will be dealing with sexual satisfaction in marriages, this is very important but often times overlooked and also assumed to be fine or it will be fine once we are married. Sex is an act of gratifying and soothing pleasure and passion that elastically binds you to your partner, sex is meant to be superbly enjoyed by both parties involved and not selfishly by just one person.

You don’t have sex to please your partner; rather it should be mutual feelings of indescribable haven sensation or sexual passion. Every man and woman has a distinctly different way that their bodies react to sexual stimulus and you must know that of your partner’s. Below I will be outlining carefully how to find sexual satisfaction with your partner.

1) You must never assume that he or she know how to pleasure you or where to touch and how to touch it or did you write them a book on it? I don’t think so, you must sensually communicate your sexual desires in the most polite and honest way, letting your partner know what works for you and how to react to certain acts of pleasuring sensations will help him/her to pleasure you much better and in turn make the whole worthy experience sufficiently satisfying and amazingly gratifying for you.

2) If communication by words of mouth is much of a tiny problem (lol) for you,(most women would say I feel shy telling him what to do or where and how to touch me or how I earnestly and eagerly want him to touch certain area or spot so he doesn’t look at me like am spoilt or wild) then you should feel free to communicate your desires through enticing body language or more seductive acts during sex, place his or her hand where you want it to touch, move it the way you best enjoy it, make your desires known through your actions during the act. Sex is beautiful and it’s not an act to be ashamed of in marriage, but where the problem lies is that most people especially women refuse to let out their sexual animal and be completely immense in the moment, so you end up unhappy and crassly dissatisfied with the act personally and just live in pretense and constant anger while you remain unfulfilled sexually. If this is happening to you right now then you are to be blamed, you need to express yourself sexpressly (lol…if you know what I mean) and that which you desire so as to get the optimum satisfaction your body hornily craved for.

3) Be ready to reciprocate sexual acts and explorations with your partner, you can’t get the best of them if you are selfish and withdrawn. it’s not always about you alone, (this is particularly for the men) sexual satisfaction or fulfillment is mutual, it is about the BOTH of you and if you keep it that way you will both have a rewardingly satisfied session of intense passion.

4) Space out your sexual activity, often times when it becomes too regular it could be boring and be more of a chore to duty and not fun, so you need to space it out sometimes just so that there is a natural longing, cravings, greed and desire for the act. This though could be difficult and quite relative as some husbands see it as food even some wives especially those with high sexual demand (HSD). However when this spacing is properly observed or maintained for a goodly period of time that’s not too long and you finally get together afterwards it’s more intense and pleasuring.

5) Make yourself open to new things, try out new locations in your house, be adventurous, and let sex be spontaneous sometimes and not planned, leave the bedroom for a while and try the bathroom, or the kitchen. Give random acts of sexual pleasure, a surprise back rub or blow job while your partner is under the shower might be the spark you need to take your sex life to the next climaxing level.

6) Show acts of love and always sort out your differences on time so as to prevent resentments, when you have unresolved issues with your partner you can’t give your best sexually or otherwise, so it’s best to sort it out and have a clean heart towards your relationship.

7) Say no to sexual acts that you don’t like, enjoy or approve of, never engage in a sexual activity that you hate just to please your partner, discuss it and let your reasons for disliking it be heard, the reason is that you can’t enjoy something that disgust you, instead it will make you feel bad and used, which in turn anticlimax to sexual dissatisfaction.

 Marital sex is bliss, beautiful and gratifying, there is no reason to hold back or constrain your desires, anticipations and passion once you are married, if you don’t get expected satisfaction from your husband or wife where then would you get it? Do you intend to remain or live the rest of your life unfulfilled in that crucial aspect? Sex is wonderfully critical, bodily and emotionally edifying and fulfilling, it’s the definition of passion and intimacy with no reservations, you should and must get to the peak of your sexual desires in marriage and it’s up to you to make that happen.

Trusting that this post will be helpful, feel free please to let me know and share your concerns on this issue in the comments section or you are most obliged to send me an email as to questions you have or stuff that holds you back from achieving sexual satisfaction in your marriage I shall be abundantly ready to react to your comments and respond accordingly.

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Relationship

How to Enjoy Valentines Day at Home

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How to Enjoy Valentines Day at Home

So it’s Valentine’s Day in a few hours, and even though we want to act like the whole hype about it is a little cliché, you still can’t ignore it as it states you in the face. Just thinking of Valentine takes me back to my teenage years, when all that it meant to us was getting dressed up in red and white outfits and going to dates in restaurants so you can brag about how your Val day was better than your friend’s, like seriously those little plastic roses were like diamonds to us. You see the stores all decorated in red and white, lets not even talk of the handmade cards that you see and long for when you walk into a grocery store, really that was all Valentine’s day was to us and when I look back now I just laugh till I can’t laugh anymore.

My most funny moment was a Val’s day that I go two dates who both took me to the same restaurant the same day but different time, damn girl I felt like a queen lol, any way today’s post is on how to enjoy and celebrate this special day at home with your loved ones.

So, personally I live for family time, the best times are the ones we spent with our loved ones and how we impacted them, so let’s make Valentine memorable for our kids.

Here are a few tips to make this happen.

1) Decorate your home for this event, create an atmosphere of love and celebration in the home, buy a few scented candles, balloons, rose petals and decorative lighting to put the home in place. This will help build anticipation in everyone as well as make the day special, after all just cos you are celebrating at home doesn’t mean it has to be boring.

2) Prepare a meal that you know the family enjoys, get drinks that are kids friendly, the aim is to have everyone enjoy the day together and keep a lasting impression, so you can make a few easy snacks, finger foods and then a nice dinner to go, note that it doesn’t have to be expensive, just do what you can, the most important is the mindset.

3) Get gifts for everyone, something to show that you appreciate their presence in your life.

4) While at the table, commit everyone to show an act of love to every member of the family, then also let every one say what they love about every member of the family, center your conversations around the theme of the day which is LOVE, you will be amazed at how this little exercise could further strengthen the family bond.

5) Take pictures of your day together, the meals, the laughs and everything in between, pictures are a great way of storing memories

6) Let the day be as fun as possible, music that you can dance to, games that everyone can engage in and let that set the tone for how the day will go.

7) After all these steps named above have been taken, you need to relax and enjoy the day, and most importantly let the message of love radiate through all you do, teach the kids the true meaning of love and Valentine day, make it clear that it’s not about immoral acts or been with the opposite sex, its about bonding and treating the other person just the way you will treat yourself. Preach love in your own language.

So that’s it guys, from me to you all its happy Valentine’s Day. Let me know your thoughts on these tips, the ones that worked for you and any other suggestions you have to making the day memorable at home. See you all in my next post.

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