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5 Tips to Be an Excellent Mum

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5 Tips to Be an Excellent Mum

Hello my blog readers and friends , ah it’s been a while I posted something here and trust me I haven’t been myself , this blog is just like my baby and if you don’t take care of your baby, who will right?

Anyway if you follow me on Instagram you would know the reason for this delay but if your don’t, (why won’t you be following me sef) I will make an official Blog announcement this week.

Once you become a parent, your entire life changes and you feel an enormous love like never before, which prompts you to want to be and do the best for your kids, you are constantly plagued by thoughts of am I doing enough, am I giving enough and I need to do more, all these could be overwhelming to say the least.

Am no expert but as a mum I go through a daily struggle of all these thoughts and worries , social media isn’t even helping with all the pictures of beautifully looking families and how some people portray their parenting skills ,it puts you under an unconscious pressure and causes you to question yourself if you are doing it right.

These tips am sharing have helped me over the years as experience is the best teacher motherhood isn’t easy and mum guilt can be very dangerous.

5 TIPS TO BE AN EXCELLENT MUM

Firstly I will like to make it clear that, there is no perfect mum anywhere, life itself isn’t perfect, motherhood comes to us all in different ways and with different kinds of responsibilities, some have special need kids, others have tasky jobs that forces them to leave their kids in the care of nannies and others are full-time mum’s that feel the need to do more in life but have sacrificed their career to tend to their families.

No matter the category you fall into, the tips am about to share are meant to boost your confidence in this beautiful journey called Motherhood and help you find peace knowing that you are enough for your kids.

1) The very first tip is to trust your instincts, yes! There is a reason it is called mother’s instincts , you have to trust your guts , believe in yourself enough to put every feeling you have to test , ok see it this way , it’s better to trust your instincts and be wrong than ignore it and be right , the guilt will be too much to bear.

2) You must recognize the need for me-time , as mother’s we invest the whole of us into our kids and home, from putting our bodies through untold stress and discomfort of pregnancy , to the toll daily care for kids take on us and our mental and physical strength , there is a very pressing need to have some me time.

Me time isn’t selfishness , it’s called self care , you need it , you can’t give your best from a hospital bed or when you are sick , if you feel beautiful from inside out ,you will release that same energy to your kids , so take time out to relax , go to the spa , engage in some retail therapy , pedicures ,manicures and salon treatment are just some of the feel good things you can engage in for your personal well being.

3) Another very important tip is to never compare your life, kids or parenting skills to another. In this day of everything social media , it’s very easy to believe that someone else is doing it better than you , handling it better and still looking great , well my sister let me burst your bubble , never ever believe all that you see on social media , 90 percent of it is just make believe for fame , so the next time you want to compare , remember that first of it’s a picture that you are seeing , a picture that could have been selected out of 100 others just to prove a point , also remember that you are more than enough for your family and you are doing all that you need to do.

4) Never forget to pray, remember that you first got these kids from God and that only through him can you get the needed wisdom to cater to your family, whenever you feel depressed or feel like your aren’t doing enough, simply go on your knees and ask God for the peace that passes all understanding from which point you will understand how best to handle things.

5) Please you need to know that there is no tomb that reads she cared for her family so much that she died from it , what am saying with this is , ask for help when you need it, don’t try to be a super woman ,( she doesn’t exist) employ a nanny if you need to , buy takeout meals on days when you can’t cook , let others help you with the house chores , you won’t prove anything by doing it all , the only thing that will happen is you getting stressed out , tired , frustrated and exhausted , which will not bring out the best of you.

To all mother’s out there, we are doing enough, we are stronger than we know and we need to be alive, strong and healthy to care for these kids, we didn’t go through pregnancy just to fail at taking care of our babies.

I hope this post has been helpful to someone and if it has please let me know in the comments section as I always love to read your comments. See you guys in my next post , stay fabulous and healthy mum’s  Xoxo.

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Motherhood

My Delivery Story Guys!

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My Delivery Story Guys!

So guys, I thought I should share my delivery story with you all, it’s the most wonderful and beautiful experience a woman can have, to carry your pregnancy to term and deliver without complications.

First let’s talk about how I knew I was pregnant, lol, so I wasn’t having regular periods and I just attributed it to breastfeeding and as such took my mind away from getting pregnant (side eyes) so fast forward to second week of November and I woke up feeling very weak, hungry and shaking (that’s how I know am pregnant) and my heart was just beating fast at the thought of pregnancy, chia I was so scared

I called on hubby’s nephew to quickly get me a pregnancy test kit from the pharmacy while I was praying it should be negative, imagine the kind of prayer points we raise sef, once he got the kit, I knew it would be positive and yes it was.

 I was just stunned and now how do I tell hubby who was away on a business trip was the next thing on my mind.

Hubby had been asking me for a few days if I was pregnant and I told him no, so after the test I was chatting with him on WhatsApp and I told him, as sweet as he always is, he just started asking how I was feeling, if I needed anything, what he should get me and so on, anyway let’s fast forward to the delivery.My Delivery Story Guys!

This pregnancy was very different from the other two and I wanted to go into labour naturally, cos for the previous kids I always had to be induced once its past due dates. So at 38 weeks I was taking long walks, mopping the house and doing so many chores just to get labor started but nothing worked.

I had an antenatal appointment at 39 weeks and 4 days and I told my hubby that I believe strongly that if I go to this appointment I won’t come back home , that I will be asked to stay back cos labour has started ( talk about power of confession!) .

I got up in the morning, took a bath ,looked at my kids that were fast asleep like oh dear this might be the last sight of you guys I have for a few days. I didn’t eat anything and went straight to the hospital , after all the antenatal teachings it was time to see the gynecologist , meanwhile I have been having very strong Braxton Hicks and mild back pains ,I went into his office and he jokingly said ‘ madam you no wan born this baby’ I laughed and told him am here to deliver o cos am tired , he asked if I was feeling any pains and I explained that nothing serious just very strong Braxton Hicks and he said I needed a V.E (vaginal examination) to see if I was dilating I was so happy to hear that and when he checked I was 3cm gone already!! .

He called the nurse and asked that I be taken upstairs and induced, as excited as I was , right there nerves kicked in and I became nervous ,the doctor said in about 8hours your baby should be here , and that’s the news I called hubby with and asked that he bring my hospital bag which was packed already.My Delivery Story Guys!

I was induced at 1:30pm July 31st and not much progress till about 11:40pm, the pains were first bearable, hubby called around 11:30pm and was like honey how far? I said we are still here o nothing much just 5cm now and he replied ah this is taking long oo , I said just be praying for me and I dropped the call, right after that call , the whole thing changed , I started having contractions back to back nonstop and they were so intense , I told my midwife that I needed to poo and she said ah not here oo ,let’s go to the delivery room so that if it’s the baby I will be prepared ,I said go where? I can’t move from here, anyway they helped me upstairs and once we entered the delivery room it was like the baby and my body knew we had gotten to the right place, cos at that point I was going crazy with pains nonstop, I started squeezing the midwife like she is the one that got me pregnant, at some point I think I told her to just get the baby out of me and let me rest, lol

The urge to push came strongly but she asked me not to that I wasn’t 10cm yet , I kept shouting and insisting to push so she check and broke the aminotic sac ah ah that’s the height of pain cos my baby was crowning and then she gave the go ahead to push , madam push ,I said am pushing , she said no you are just shouting , I gave it my all and boom at 12:47am August 1st my baby girl came out with a large cry weighing 3.8kg wheww

The relief that comes after the baby is out, words can’t express ,seeing my baby and hearing her cry was just everything to me , I uttered THANK YOU JESUS , we got cleaned up and taken to our rooms ,that’s where I called hubby and told him that our baby girl is finally here ! He screamed thank you JESUS, honey we will be coming once it’s day break.

This hunger that followed after the delivery is a story for another day , I was just content seeing my baby beautiful and healthy ,I couldn’t wait to introduce her to her sisters , my mind was at rest , my heart was full of joy and my lips full of Thanksgiving and songs of joy.

Thank you guys for reading this, it means A lot to me. See you all in my next post Xoxo

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Motherhood

AWESOME NEWS!! MY 3RD BABY IS HERE!

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Yes am so excited!, Hello my wonderful blog readers and family, I have been off the blog due to this wonderful news,  I welcomed my third child a few weeks back, if you follow me on Instagram this wouldn’t be coming as news to you cos I already made the announcement there.

So guys this is the reason I haven’t been posting regularly on the blog, as you can imagine pregnancy takes the whole of you and let’s not even talk of pregnancy brain messing with your creativity, am happy to be back and also to introduce you all to my baby.

She arrived on August 1st and it’s been nothing short of blessings and love, nothing can compare to the joy of holding your baby in your arms, you just want to do on them and kiss them all day long️.

My delivery and pregnancy story will be on the YouTube channel later next week, so make sure you subscribe to the channel by using the link up there or just search for Joy Etor on YouTube and subscribe guys, I will also be doing a post on my pregnancy fashion here on the blog, you don’t want to miss that trust me.

I will resume posting content this week and can’t wait to read all your comments, thanks for the love guys I more than appreciate , meanwhile let me get back to breastfeeding.

See you guys in my next post Xoxo.

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Motherhood

5 Things to consider before becoming a Parent

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5 Things to consider before becoming a Parent

Babies are blessings from God, and what a great joy, love and bond they bring! These days with photographers, who show case stunning and breath taking baby pictures on social media, one just feels like having a baby every day.

As cute and wonderful as it is to have a child, one must note that it comes with a lot of responsibilities, speaking from experience babies change your entire world, from the pregnancy stage to their very arrival, so it’s of utmost importance that you are ready or at least know what you must have in place before having a baby.

1) The state of your relationship- as you know it takes two to come together and have a baby, so it’s very important to consider the current status and state of your relationship.

Never try to use a baby to make a relationship work; this is because the stress of having a new born could even break a healthy relationship if not properly managed.

Talk with your partner to know if they are ready, babies are blessings and so their coming should be received with all happiness and joy.

If you currently live apart, or are having issues it’s best to wait and sort all that out first before bringing a child into the picture.

2) Your Financial state- You must have heard that it’s expensive to have a child, this is as true as you will only want to give your child the very best.

From getting a good hospital, to buying the essentials for welcoming a baby, adequate health care and welfare, all these takes a toll on your bank balance, so you have to make sure that either they both of your are working or having a major source of income and that way you can plan towards your baby, this will help reduce frustration when the baby arrives.

3) The mental health of both partners- Not much is said about this and that’s why am drawing attention to it right now. Having a baby can affect you mentally in ways you never imagined, so if of you is having issues mentally, like been stressed out or depressed you will need to seriously get a doctor’s advice on whether having a child at this moment is a good idea.

A child doesn’t solve depression or mental health and the reason this is important is to avoid post natal depression or a complete fall out of the relationship or the mental health of either of the partners.

This is because with a baby comes, lots of sleepless nights, constant crying and a whole lot of stress work that could be very stressful for even the most sane person.

4) Your support system – The saying that it takes a village to raise a child couldn’t be more real than when you have a child and realize that you actually need all the help you can get in taking care of your baby.

You must consider if you have a support system to start with, do you have a friend, sibling, mother or mother-in-law that could easily jump in and assist you? Or are you going to depend on nannies which could be very expensive not to talk of the fear of them not giving adequate care to your baby, this is why it’s always important to have this checked off your list before the baby comes.

5) Your age- A lot of times we concentrate on careers so much that we forget to plan on having kids, no matter how much you might want to ignore it, age plays a very important role when it comes to having kids.

Medically a woman’s fertility starts to drop from the age of 32 and for men it goes as far as 40, this is not to put pressure on anyone but to serve as a reminder that if you know that having kids is what you want to do at some point in your life, then it makes A lot of sense to think about the age factor and plan accordingly.

I hope this post had been helpful to you and please you know I love to always read your comments so let me know what you think in the comments section, as well as other points you think I should add .

Babies are nothing short of blessings so it makes a lot of sense to plan adequately before having them.

Xoxo. See you in my next post.

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