It’s sad that poverty has caused such an incident. And I cannot imagine what it is like to know that you are carrying a dead foetus inside you for years! Even if poverty is the cause of you not being able to do something about it, maybe a little determination and will to do something would’ve set you on the right path to do the right thing.

I wonder if the woman did this because she didn’t want to let go of her baby, or it was really poverty that drove her to keep her dead baby with her forever.

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The truth is that a natural delivery will have effects on a woman’s genital. This is caused by the inevitable damage of the vaginal muscles and its supporting tissues during a natural delivery. It is also said that the more natural deliveries a woman goes through, the more damage is done and thus, the “looser” (crudely put) the genital becomes.

The fact that a woman is concerned by this made me wonder whether these worries stem from the perspectives of their spouses. Even after childbirth, women still want to feel desired by their spouse and since they have now become “looser”, they feel they have become less attractive to their spouse. Should women really be concerned by this?

Having said all the above, all is not a dead-end when it comes to having a simple solution to help tighten loose muscles and tissues to some extent. A highly popular and recommended exercise known as Kegel exercise, which is a pelvic floor exercise, is said to improve muscle tone in the vagina and is effective in helping to heal episiotomy and tearing during childbirth. Here’s an article that talks more about Kegel exercises and how to do it the right way.

So ladies, take heart that not all is lost. If you are truly worried about this matter, be diligent in doing the pelvic floor exercise or speak with your gynae to see what else may help.

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Do the guys really want to do this though? I know that many are quite nervous about this because they fear cutting the wrong part. Some may not do too well looking at something bloody too. Not to mention some mothers may also be quite nervous about this too.

My doctor was someone very practical whose objective was to perform a safe delivery and to ensure that mother and child are fine. He did not offer the new daddy a chance to cut the umbilical cord. Instead of feeling disappointed that he didn’t do the honours, the daddy actually felt relieved because he actually didn’t want to do it.

How about other guys out there? Are you for it? Are there fathers who do it only because the doctor handed you the scissors and you don’t really want to say no?

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Before I delivered, I asked many experienced mothers what their experiences with epidural were like. I got many mixed responses. Some have the highest regards for epidural, putting it high on a pedestal and citing it to be a God-sent invention to womankind. On the other side of the coin, I also had women who swore off using epidural again, ever. So there you have it, the two extreme points of view. So how do you even begin to make up your mind?

Firstly, you need to have a chat with your gynae. He or she will be able to give you facts about the jab. More importantly, you should pay attention to the known side effects of epidural. Some of the effects I’ve heard of from those mothers who do not favour epidural are frequent headaches, back pains and poor memory. On top of these, your doctor may give you a long list of other effects which can sound something like this:

• Dural puncture
• Hypotension
• Nausea, vomiting, shivering (I personally experienced the shivering)
• Prolonged labour
• Neurological complications (is this the poorer sense of memory experienced by some women?)
• Bladder dysfunction
• Paresthesia (the “pins and needles” sensation)

Now that you know some of the possible side effects of epidural, you should also know what epidural does. Essentially, it is a pain-relieving medicine that is injected into the spine to numb the lower abdomen. When properly administered, the patient should feel nothing at all within minutes of taking the injection.

Some women applaud this method because they will not feel the contraction pain during labour. Whilst this may be comforting to those whose pain tolerance is low, you should also know that once you do not feel the contractions, you would not know when to push your baby out. Therefore you need to rely on your nurse and doctor to tell you when it’s time. It may not be a big deal to many ladies, so long as they feel no pain. But being the diverse creature that we are, some women actually prefer to go through childbirth feeling the entire process naturally from contraction to the delivery of her baby. If you are one of these brave souls, then you may not want to take epidural at all.

Here’s what happens when you decide to take this jab. An anesthesiologist will attend to you to administer the jab. Before you begin the process, the anesthesiologist will hand you some indemnity form to read and sign. From my experience, it was read out and explained to me about the possible side effects of what I’m about to do. Only when I’ve agree and signed on the form, the anesthesiologist proceeded to prepare me for the jab.

Part of the preparation includes being set up on various monitors to track pulse, blood pressure and EKG. Then, to administer the jab, you will be asked to either sit up and hunch forward while hugging a pillow in front of you or you may lie curled to the side. The reason you need to be in such a position is for the anesthesiologist to accurately find the correct spot on your spine to administer the jab.

The first jab given is a local anesthetic to numb an area of the spine. Then the epidural needle is put in place at the spinal cord and will be kept there until after the delivery. This is to facilitate the dosage flow of epidural into the body. Once the needle is properly placed, the anesthesiologist will now administer the appropriate dosage of the medicine. It should take about half an hour for you to feel the total numb effect of the epidural. To keep a check on the progress of the epidural taking effect on your body, normally the nurse will use something cold to place on your abdomen and ask if you feel any sensation.

From my experience, I needed pretty high dosage of epidural because I was quite far along in my labour and yet the epidural hadn’t quite kicked in. Before the dosage can be increased, the anesthesiologist must approve of it.

You may also want to know that epidural may not work 100% as you expect. When administered too far along the labour period, it may not have kicked in before you need to deliver your baby. So always bear in mind that you should get to the hospital with a sufficient time lead if you want the epidural to work properly.

While you may still be confused and undecided whether to have a chance at going through an almost painless delivery, this is a decision that is yours and only yours. Do not be pressured to do what others did. You know yourself better and what you want. After all, childbirth is a magical experience (minus the pain, of course) and only you have the right to choose how you wish to go through it.

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