Never put up with domestic violence
I recently had a long chat with a long lost friend. We updated each other on our path of lives since we left school and we eventually got to talking about family and kids. I listened in horror as she told me about her home life, which seemed more suited to be a Hollywood movie than a real life one. She is a victim of domestic violence and she has had a tough life. However, I’m glad that she has the bravery to walk out of her marriage, with all her kids in tow, and put a permanent stop to being a victim of spouse abuse.
Women should never ever be subjected to such violence at home. And if any of us are unfortunate enough to marry someone who abuses us, I pray that we have the strength, courage and support of family and friends to take the high road to protect ourselves and children by standing up against domestic violence. It is not something that should be tolerated no matter how much you love your spouse. A husband who genuinely loves and cares for his wife will never lay hands on her.
There is never a good reason behind his violent behaviour. Do not justify his actions, do not assign blame upon yourself, that you had deserved it for provoking him. Even an occassional slap around is not acceptable behaviour. Don’t even think that a drunken man is excuseable from his actions of laying his hands on his wife. A drunken man is not completely unconscious of his own actions. A man who hits a woman is not a man! In my opinion, such men are better called beasts.
No matter how apologetic a man is of his bad behaviour, no matter what he showers you with after the damage he’s done, never be bought. He will only do it again and again. Don’t listen to his promises of not doing it again, ever. A man who hits is not a man to be trusted.
So ladies, don’t put up with domestic violence. Stand up for yourself and your loved ones because they do no want to see you get hurt either. If you have children, think about what message you are bringing across to them if you allow yourself to be a victim of domestic violence. It is not okay for violence to begin at home. A home should be filled with love and harmony.
For Malaysian women, a place to start getting help other than from your family and friends is the Women’s Aid Organisation.
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This post has 6 comments
November 21st, 2008
I have experience my neighbor at night 2 am they are having some fights and the woman is crying i even hear the husband say u call lah the police.
I call up the help line which it is advertise on the radio all the time when i call up they say ohh like this ahhh u call the the police loh we cant do anything then why in the first place you advertise for people to call in.
Thhheee anyway i have done my part but it seem no one care we even tell our guard they also don’t care.
November 21st, 2008
It is very sad when there is emotional , mental and psychological abuse in a relationship and this may lead to physical violence.
It happens because the women does not stand on their rights and allowed it to be trampled upon. She should be firm and not allow him to cross those boundaries. Let him know where are your limits and boundaries. In trying to please them , they swallowed their pride and dignity in exchange for their love.
You can make a report to the police but there will not be any effective actions by them unless you are seriously injured.
The police will advise you to settle with your hubby and they are powerless and cannot do anything about it. You may even be insulted by those insensitive policemen. Your case is a civil case and not a criminal case.
If you want to take actions against him , you will need to engage a lawyer who will advise you on what to do.
In Malaysia ,you may contact the All Women’s Action society at this link
http://www.awam.org.my/enS
For others, they should contact the women’s shelter for help.
Another good link is -
http://www.dearcupid.org/
Type the word ‘abuse’ in the search window. You may find a lot of info there or just Google that word.
November 23rd, 2008
This is more of a civil case and the police can only accept your report and do nothing unless the woman is seriously injured.
Do not become a floor mat where you allow him to walk all over you and wipe his dirt on you.
Stand and fight for your rights and let him know where are your boundaries and limits. He will have more respects for you that way than to let him walk all over you.
She should learn to recognize when it is mental,emotional and physical abuse and take the right steps to stop it .Otherwise , he can turned into an evil monster.
November 24th, 2008
Sorry about the double posting. I encountered some problems with my first posting as the system did not show it after I clicked on the submit button.
I thought it was gone and I posted my second post later. I apologize for spamming your blog.
November 24th, 2008
Chris, it’s sad that people take an ignorant approach and tend to “mind our own business”. But sometimes, we don’t really know if the victims want others to interfere, it’s quite a difficult call to make but I figure nothing worse can come from lending some help and support.
Laura, don’t worry about it. The first comment was caught by Akismet by mistake. I do agree with your view about women becoming floor mats. We have a stand and we deserve to be respected.
August 16th, 2011
They need help to educate tham about business and protecting their livelihoods.