How to deal with copycats
Do you find that women tend to be more copycats than men? Share an idea with a woman and next thing you know, she might’ve implemented it before you do it. Share your success story, and you will find her getting onto the bandwagon quietly but quickly. Blog about some interesting topics, and two days later, find the same kind of posts in her blog. I can’t stand copycats. You can’t really tell them off because they will always beg to differ, saying it’s just some coincidence of some sort.
Some people tell me that one should not feel too angered about being copied. Instead, one should feel flattered. Perhaps. For every single thing you do that gets copied, you should give yourself a pat on the back and say “Well done!”. That’s one sure way of feeling better about yourself than to let frustration take over. Definitely an ingenious and positive way of dealing with a copycat.
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This post has 14 comments
September 22nd, 2008
Not all women. I suppose the copy cats have some kind of complex. Feel great if someone is “copy cat-ing” you as these are the ones who look up to you as role models.
September 22nd, 2008
I agree with taking the high road and choosing to feel good about it…otherwise life is just a torture!
October 19th, 2008
I guess its a compliment but it can be weird and annoying if its someone you’re around a lot. I’d like to think that since everyone is different, that we’d all want to make our own impression on the world and not just use someone elses rubber stamp.
October 20th, 2008
That’s a great way of putting it, a rubber stamp!
Well I guess it would make everyone happier and less frustrating to take it as a compliment and move on.
December 30th, 2009
I am very concerned about my daughter’s sister in law. She has copied my daughter’s entire life. Same exact wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, weddding cake, song sung, etc…Then painted her house and bought the same furniture as my daughter, rearranging it to look like a carbon copy of my daughter’s house. She returned her wedding gifts and bought everything my daughter received. She used my daugthter’s baby’s names to name her dog and son…just plain weird! She cut her hair and buys the same clothes, jewelry, etc…it’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen. No one wants to confront her because she goes ballistic if you say anything. Does this girl have some sort of mental illness?
March 9th, 2010
That’s so strange but my sister in law is doing the exact same thing as you are describing. She copied almost everything that i done in my wedding (the color scheme, my hair style, the flower bouquet, the cake and more…). Now that she got married, she is copying my cloth, my hair style, bought almost the same furniture, copied the same color wall paint scheme. When i finished my master degree in university, she decided to go and do her master degree too. She was a bit chubby, she decided to diet and be thin like me. The worst is when me and my husband moved in our new condo. We sold our 2 office desks and both a new big one that fits all our stuff and then we changed the powder room faucet to buy those nice fancy ones… Well when she moved out with her husband in a new condo, she changed their desks and her powder faucets… I think it is really insane and truly believe that she is lacking of self esteem. I wouldn’t call it mental illness but i would call it lack of self esteem and self worth. We can’t do nothing to prevent that and the only way around is to ignore her. I know that this is not easy but i always tell myself that this person will always be struggling her entire life trying to get a self satisfaction that she will never get. The self satisfaction that she get from copying me is very temporary and always needs to be renewed. I actually pity her instead of frustrating myself over the things she does. I thank God that i m not like her.
March 12th, 2010
Before i met my husband he was very close to his sister. we had been engaged for about 15 months when we decided to get married and thought we’ll only need 6 months to organise it all.(which was easy) after about a month the SIL decides she is getting married before us (they wasnt even engaged or anything before she announced it) and that they were having it at the same place we had already booked. i didnt think much of it. was a bit annoyed but just thought maybe because its a nice location. 2 months after we got married we fell pregnant we told the family at 6 weeks. The SIL are at still living at home with the parents saving for a house and Then all of a sudden the SIL goes off the pill and gets pregnant 3 weeks later! What the hell? is she jealous of me and doesnt like me having any attention?? i’m dreading having the baby now i dont want it to feel like a competion 24/7!! when i say my child done this she’ll be like oh well mine done this! i dont even want to talk to her about being pregnant when i see her so i just try to avoid it altogether.. does anyone have any thing to say or to help so this doesnt ruin my life with my husband! i’m a bit concerned!!!
March 16th, 2010
Stop being concerned and don’t let this consume you or ruin your life. I know it is very annoying and ignoring her is easier said than done. But nothing you will do or say that will change this. I know my husband for 5 years and my SIL is copying me since day 1. This never stopped even if don’t communicate much with her and even if i ignore her. You will have to learn living with this matter. She is ruining her own life. What she is doing definitely indicates that she has a low self esteem and her everyday life is a struggle. She will always look at what other people have and will try to get it. When she gets it, she will be temporarily satisfied until you or somebody gets something she doesn’t have. She is definitely jealous of you (and for some reason, girls that are jealous in nature tends to be more jealous of their SIL). Always tell yourself that this person will always be struggling her entire life trying to get a self satisfaction that she will never in fact get.
October 4th, 2010
Thank you so much for your comments-esp Nancy. My SIL is just like the ones you describe-when I first met her, she put me off because I noticed this in her imediately-she would watch me like a hawk, then copy whatever I did, she even started talking like me, laughing like me…it was sooo weird that i just started ignoring her-then got a backlash from teh rest of the in-law family, who thought I was not “accepting” her as part of the family (I have been married for 12 yrs and am(was) v close to my in-laws before this. Anyway..over the years I realxed a bit and learnt my lesson-how to hide my annoyance-but recently-I went to her place and saw that she has bought the exact same living room furniture as mine!! See here’s teh thing-I have 2 kids and dont socialize as much as she does (with 1 kid)but we move in the same social circles and know the same friends…so basically she had a big party where she showed off her new furniture…and all the while I know that she copied mine…but no one has seen my furniture..so if and when they do,they will think I was the one who copied her!! It takes my breath away..and I was sooo mad-even mu husband, who never gets into these things, was a little surprised/annoyed. I know I should have said it right there-that hey you bought furniture just like mine-but seriously I was so taken aback and also did not want to look immature/childish there and show that it bothered me..it is like this with every single thing-her husband is my hubby’s younger brother and he has teh same complex-always did what big brother did-we never saw it as anything bad till he started getting real competitive-and upset if he wasn’t feeling even in some way to my husband. then his wife comes along..and she has the same (far worse) problem-with me!! As you can guess they had a baby shortly after I had mine-now is pregnant with 2nd one-Please tell me how to handle this and thanks for the opportunity to vent!
February 25th, 2011
Share the same struggle with my SIL…Was surprised to see the same furniture and even throwpillows in Facebook. We used to live in the same compound before and was really annoyed when she copies almost everything my daughter does/has and applies it to her daughter as well who is 8 months younger than mine. I find it creepy sometimes when she forces her daughter to follow what my daughter is doing. Even with the distance, she gets my ideas through Facebook….I hope I’ll be able to get the willpower to really ignore her.
April 6th, 2011
oh thank god im not the only one like this. its my brother’s fiance in this case. from day 1 she copied both me and my sister with everything. clothes,makeup hairstyle you name it.i tried to ignore her but its really annoying. However now she has taken it too far. i started photography as a hobby and i’ve been getting pretty good at it, i am considering it as a career . now she picked up that hobby as well and wants to get all my photo editing programmes and has totally put my brother against me. everytime i upload a picture on facebook she gets angry and i have no idea what she tells my brother. but he spies on what i do, before he used to download photo software for me , now he has stopped that and is giving her everything. He is encouraging her in photography now. i was creating a photography portfolio, now i have seen on my bro’s laptop that she is creating one as well. she lies and fake cries to him that i hide stuff from her and he totally hates me. i don’t know what to do .
June 3rd, 2011
I just need to take it all out, I am fuming… I got pregnant in Semptembre 2010 and give birth to a baby girl in May 2011. Now i learn that she just got pregnant but have been trying ever since i got pregnant. And the worst is yet to come. She and her husband always wanted a boy. Now they want a girl… guess why? She is only 3 month pregnant and they believe at 90% it will be a girl… they have already gave a girls name to her unborn child. I think they will suicide if it turns out to be a boy. I just can’t understand how they can just like that have a change of heart and decide they suddenly now want a girl. She started to ask me from were i bought the nursery furniture, the colors, the decoration… This time I will tell her that It would be more fun if she would decorate the room differently and have a different furniture color. I am kind of really hoping it would turn out to be a boy… Crossing my fingers…
August 5th, 2011
Interesting read!!! Your website is fantastic with informative content which i like to add to my favourites.
January 27th, 2012
You are right, we can hardly get away with copycats no matter how hard we try. But there are so many things that we can to get rid of them for good. I recommend you watch this video of Marie Forleo about how to deal with copycats in your business and life. http://marieforleo.com/2012/01/how-to-deal-with-copycats/