How long do you need to date before you say I do?
Last night I attended a beautiful wedding dinner. At the wedding reception, the happy couple shared the story of their whirlwind romance and I must say it is a very magical love story. Typical story of how you would never guess two people who have known each other for years, having no inkling whatsoever that one day they would end up being in love and eventually as man and wife.
As their beautiful love story unfolded, I listened in awe and was pretty much struck with awe throughout the entire wedding reception. I kept thinking how a whirlwind romance must feel like, to be proposed to in just a couple of months into dating, where you barely know the person you’re dating other than what you may see and know on the surface.
It takes a lot to make a marriage work. It takes understanding, patience, giving and taking and not to mention love to take all the challenges of a marriage in stride. But if you do not know the person deep enough, does this pose a threat to the workability of a marriage? That was the burning question in my mind.
It sure sounds like a fairy tale when all goes on and ends well. But when problems arise in the marriage, I’m quite sure doubts of whether they had gotten married too quickly will come to mind. I’m not the type of girl who can say yes to a marriage proposal if I don’t date the guy long enough to know more of all sides of him. The good and the bad. I need to know what I’m getting into, with eyes wide open. I don’t like surprises and I don’t think I can take them well if they are bad surprises. So call me unromantic and unspontaneous, but a whirlwind romance ending in marriage is really not my thing.
How about the other ladies out there? Can you get to know someone in 3 months and know that he is the one?
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This post has 2 comments
March 13th, 2009
I fully admit that when friends of mine get engaged after only a few months of dating (and sometimes knowing) each other, alarm bells usually ring in my head.
However, whether you could really link the length of dating to how happy or successful a marriage will be, is pretty undetermined.
I reckon I knew that I wanted to marry my now husband after 3 months of dating, but I massively appreciate having got to know him for 4 years before making that step. Marriage can be tough, but at least I’m very familiar with the person I’m in it with!
I think quick marriages are telling of our consumer culture where we’re always looking for the next thing to happen.
My suggestion is that we pray hard for everyone embarking on marriage, and look at how we prepare and support people in a sometimes difficult, but very exciting journey!
March 17th, 2009
Having known your husband for 4 years is a big help although you have a short dating period before the marriage. I agree with you that marriage needs work and effort to work. No slacking on it!