Many women are stuck in unhappy relationships where they are verbally abused by their partners so much so that they are emotionally shattered and their self confidence affected. It makes one wonder why such women, especially when they are not legally married, stay on in such unhealthy relationships. I’m quite sure there are valid reasons why they are holding on to such relationships. The reasons may not make sense to a third party at all.

A friend of mine was in such a relationship with her boyfriend and often cried herself to sleep. When things got very bad and she needed to talk it out instead of suffering in silence, she would pick up the phone and talk and sob through tears with some close friends. Her family knew nothing of this because she did not want to worry them and see him in a bad light.

After numerous calls, I finally decided to ask her if she ever thought of leaving him and finding someone better who would treat her with respect. She hesitated for just about 3 seconds before saying that she will not end the relationship. I probed further and she revealed to me that she was afraid no one else out there would want her. I told her she’s being silly. After all, she’s an attractive woman who’s got a good heart, beautiful and a bubbly personality. What’s there not to like about a girl like that?


With a sigh, she explained to me is that she was afraid that other men would not want her and look lowly upon her because she is no longer a virgin. I was taken aback with her answer.

Do women these days still feel this way about how they are viewed by men? Does a man really give less points to a woman who has engaged in pre-marital sex? Whether it is morally and religiously right or wrong, that’s another topic altogether. The fact is, it is common these days that couples engage in pre-marital sex and that people tend to go through a few relationships before finding the one they exchange marital vows with. So it would be quite rare (not impossible, just rare) in our society today to find a virgin unless it is a first time relationship.

Anyway, do guys really give lower brownie points to a girl who’s not a virgin? Only the guys will know this. Guys, care to share your thoughts?

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