Some of us women like to know just how important we are to our men. We want to know whether we are the most important person to him on earth. To find out the answer to this, women often ask “If your mother and I fall into the big wide sea, who would you rescue first?”

In the first place, the question is inappropriate and women should not pose it to their men. Both you and your man know what the expected answer should be to keep you happy and maintain harmony in the relationship. So by saying that he chooses to rescue you, all is well and you are pleased. But is he?

When he says it’s you, I’m not suggesting that he’s lying. It could very well be you 200%. But for him to acknowledge out loud his choice of rescuing you over his mother may seem a little hard for him to accept. After all, his mother is the person who gave life to him, nurtured him and brought him up. Deep inside, when forced to make that choice between his own mother and you, he might feel guilty that he did not choose the woman who loves him unconditionally. It is not an easy guilt to live with. It doesn’t matter that his answer lies only between the two of you and that his mother would not find out.

When a man is being put in a spot to answer this type of question, I’m sure he is very uncomfortable in making his choice. He may not show it, but you should not mess with his internal turmoil. Put yourself in his shoes, if he asks you the same question and you give him an affirmative that his life is worth more to you than your mother’s, do you feel like you’ve betrayed your own mother?

Think about it and the next time you want to know if you are the most important person in his life, try another method. Anything but to make him choose between you and a flesh and blood (this includes your children).

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